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Wednesday June 14, 2017
The immediate issue, is I need and want a good job for once. Something with security, good pay, and doing something I can be proud, and hopefully someplace I want to be. I have two masters, experience, and I do the work. I send out resumes, I use my contacts, but I cannot seem to get a break.
Don’t say it is because I am not working hard enough. When I hear those words from you or anyone else all I hear is that I am not worthy, and that really hurts because that flat out contradict everything I try to do, and everything I have been taught.
Don’t say time isn't right, because I am hurting right now so why should my suffering persist? But it is acceptable to you that I should continue to suffer then all I can conclude is that you are either not as good, or love as much as you say you do.
Don’t say it is because of who I am, because you made me this way, I cannot change that.
I do not believe in any of that ‘tough love’ bull****, because it is not love. It is pride, fear, and selfishness trying to disguise itself as love.
There is so much I want and wanted to do in life, and I tried to do everything the good and proper way. But all that seems to do, is allow for me to be taken advantage of. I only seem to be allow to serve you and other people in life, but not the other way around. And I am not enough of a jerk to take it by force, because I really want to believe that if you good and do the right thing you make things work out.
But I am almost 44, and if the average human life span in 66 years, I have spent 2/3rds of that being constantly being proven wrong. So why should I waste the last 1/3rd of that experiencing the exact same thing. If it is because you command it, then to me that just proves you are cruel, and not as forgiving as you claim.
For whatever glory awaits us in heaven, if it exists, is not worth what we have to put up living on earth to experience that. And that really break my heart because I know I do not have it as bad as some on earth.
Maybe this letter is just my way of saying goodbye, because I cannot deal with this anymore.
You and people are not going to change, and you are especially not going to change the world just for me, not matter how much you say you love. And I just don’t have it in me to give any more, especially without some tangible guarantee of something good.
Goodbye, I hope you can find in someone else, whatever you wanted from me, because I just cannot give you whatever you want anymore.
no name sender
Sunday June 11, 2017
Once in the land of gigantic there live ivanka. She was a sexy looking. And there jack the travelers
Tuesday May 30, 2017
Hey God ! I just wanna say that my life is not one where I have no food to eat, or no home or anything as such but I really feel like I'm a waste ! I probably shouldn't be living if I'm not gonna do anything great in my life ! So just a request, take my life away if it's really one in which I'm not going to do anything worthwhile (Something different other than just a normal useless life after which will be forgotten)! So yeah, I hope you really really listen to me and probably give me a sign soon ! Thank you ! :) Oh and yeah, also please help all the people that are genuinely in need of help ! Thank you !
Monday May 29, 2017
Lieber Gott! Ich kann und will so nicht mehr. Mir kann das größte Glück passieren, aber das Loch in mir, keinen Mann und keine innige Mann-Frau-Liebe nach all den Jahren zu haben, macht mich kaputt. Gott, wenn du mich hörst, dann bitte schick mir doch endlich den Mann, der mich richtig liebt und der mich froh macht. Ich wünsche mir so sehr A. Du weißt wen. Sucht er auch Liebe? Wenn ja, führe uns endlich zueinander. Ich bitte sich nur darum, dass ich endlich lieben darf. Du kennst mich und weißt, dass in mir das Potential für größte Liebe da ist. Ich möchte eine Ehefrau und Mutter sein, die ihr Leben liebt, die ihre Familie mit Liebe beschenkt. Ich möchte einen wunderbaren Mann haben, der mein tiefster Freund ist. Bitte Gott, schicke mor diesen Mann noch dieses Jahr. Jemand, bei dem ich komplett ich selbst sein kann und der mich dabei einfach toll findet und liebt wie ich bin. Und den ich vollkommen finden kann. Ich wünsche mir A. so sehr, aber wenn es jemand anderes ist, dann schicke ihn. Ich will aber vom ersten Augenblick an sicher sein. Ich will Magie zwischen uns. Ich will wenigstens auch A. richtig kennen lernen, selbst, wenn er es nicht ist. Ich lege mein Leben und Schicksal ganz in deine Hand. Ich will Freude am Leben haben, lieben, lachen. Ich bin immer nur traurig und fertig und das will ich nicht mehr. Gott im Himmel, bitte höre mich und bitte gebe mir Zeichen. Zeichen, die ich nicht bezweifeln oder verkennen kann. Schicke ihn zu mir, lass uns uns kennen lernen. In Jesu Namen, erhöre mich. Bitte bitte bitte. Und schütze alle, die ich liebe. Lass große Wunder geschehen, die micj wieder gut und froh machen. Amen
Monday May 29, 2017
Dear god, it's my birthday today. Please let this be a good day. I don't wish for many gifts, I just wants good friends, to be popular and I want a partner. It's not only today that I'm begging you. I want a better life, a happy one. I'm sorry but today I feel especially sad. Please send big love my way, let me be more optimistic and joyful. And send me Ahmed as a friend, a real and steady contact and if you want it even more. I'm asking you in the name of Jesus Christ, please give me signs that I can be sure of and which I don't overlook. I'm begging you from the bottom of my heart, please send the man of my life to me this year and as soon as it is possible. The one that I find wonderful, fascinating and attractive like no other. The one who means home, understanding and mutual caring. I want to give love to him and understanding. As much as he loves and understands me. My true soul mate. I wish it was Ahmed but you know best. Just hear me now please. And look after me today because its so warm and I want to do a god job. In the name of Jesus Christ, please hear this prayer and help me for I am so sad and I want the opposite. Amen.
Child of God
Friday May 26, 2017
I'm just so tired of my life, in college most of my days were 12-16 hours long, my dad lost his job of 20 years, my mom makes $200 every 2 weeks for the last 3 years. There has been times in college I've been without food for almost 2 weeks, times when my clothes were falling apart, when I was sick with no money for medicine but I still performed well in school. Being at those hard times made me work harder than anyone else. I've hit rock bottom so many times and no one was ever there, but I kept pushing. No one has ever done anything for me to make my life any easier, never given me a break or a breathe of fresh air, no car so I have to walk every where I need to go. I always ate alone, often times isolating myself to study, but I made it through. I want to be a doctor more than anything in this world. Now I'm hitting rock bottom again, studying for the MCAT full time on an empty stomach, parents struggling more than ever, have no clue how much longer utilities can stay on. I have to pay $400 to apply to medical school even with a fee waiver I got for my parents low income and I just don't have it. Brother is graduating with no cap and gown. Once again I'm hitting rock bottom.. and thinking about selling my bed for cash. Once again I'm hopeless.
Thursday May 25, 2017
The Holy spirit fellowshipped with me during the time of my fellowship with the Lord when in 2nd grade that came with hi Terrill I'm Immanuel. "Terrill I know Humanity prefer to see artwork that is drawn from life and not from photographic references". To go along with this the topic of medical illustrators often drawing what cannot be seen. I come to you about in King of Kings and Lord of Lords Jesus Christ !! Terrill TC!
Thursday May 25, 2017
Maintaining uniform heat throughout the pile. 39 letters. You fellowshipped with me about when I was fellowshipping with you when I was in 2nd grade.. I come to you about in King of Kings and Lord of Lords Jesus Christ!! Terrill TC!
lonely and hurting
Wednesday May 24, 2017
My dear most high father. Many times people tell others ask and you shell receive. I have been asking for a life with out being lonely, with out living alone. I ask today for your forgiveness of what all my sins and at time being ungrateful. I do not mean to be ungrateful for a live of having a home to live in and food to eat. Knowing there are so many in this world. I try very hard to be a good person yet I do not understand why I have to live like this. I love a man that lives in Canada. We spend time with each other as I have a home here in Montana. I have been dating him for just over 4 years. I do not want to lose him but I do not want to live a life of being apart. I do my best to take care of him and always be there for him. Yet he wants to be with other women. Please dear god help him see that not only is he hurting me but he also hurts the other women as I am sure he does not tell them about me. I want to live a life that I had with my late husband. I know I can not have the same life but why can't I have someone love me and want to be with me. I am always there for him but yet I am always alone when I need him. Please can you let him see the good in me and how much I truly care for him. I am so wanting to end my own life because I do not want to live alone anymore. I am scared. I have lost a lot of loved ones and could not make it if I lose Jeff... Please dear God help me... You have my late husband and my son in your heavens now and I need to be loved help me find that love...
Thank you dear God for all the things that you have given me. Yet please for give me for all my wrongs. I am human and try hard yet will keep making then even when I do not know I am...
I pray that all lonely and unhappy people are granted a life of love and kindness.
Tuesday May 23, 2017
Write to God...Dear God i know there is no one above you please let me pass my waec exam in full colours please change my jamb score for me to make my father happy for the first time God am begging you that in all the schools that i will apply to or have applied to please let them accept me please i any miracles that have never happen to me before please let it happen in my life.